I know - it’s not like you are 34, single, broke, fat, living with a pot smoking cousin, and your hairless dog is your Valentine.

When your giant platform boots get caught in your giant cuffed pants.  And by giant I mean WIDE LEG.

I love annoying women who like sports.  It’s really fun to see them get their panties in a bunch when I say EWWWW to sports.  I guess that is my sport.

I REALLY don’t think that cops are nice like on Prime Suspect.  Any takers……

my mom’s tomato sauce > your mom’s tomato sauce…in case u were wondering.

Not mine - but part of the Family Stone is celebrating a birthday today!

YAY!

Why women love sports.  I know that sounds rude, but I just don’t understand the pull.  And don’t you notice that women who are “sporty” look down on us?  Much like the campers.

Took a ride around town.  Certainly reminds you of who you are, and who you don’t want to be.

Sore hair roots from all the shit I put in it to make it beautiful.

Kids are so badly behaved.  I need to be reminded, don’t blame the kids - blame the parents!!!